Even If…

Even if all of my “What Ifs” come true, I will choose to trust in a sovereign, loving, holy God.

Reposted from 2023….

The other night, I hugged the cutest 11 year old girl as she told me about her fears.   Unfortunately, these were not the normal fears of a child, but all of the “What If’s” of a child who has experienced great loss and trauma.  This mama could not look her in the eyes and reassure her that the “What If’s” would not happen in life.  I could not hold her tight and promise her that life would be without suffering and intense pain.   However, I did look in her eyes and tell her with 100% confidence that even if all of our what if’s happen, we can trust God.  

When I was in my early 20’s I made a list of all my “What If’s”.  These were typical worries of anyone during this season of life. What if I never get married?  What if I am not financially secure?  What if death of a loved one is more than I can take?  At the end of my long list I wrote the words “Even If”….   Even if all of my what if’s come true then I will choose to trust God.  

Fast forward 15 years later and we found ourselves stepping onto a plane with three babies, suitcases, and a lot of unknowns.    We were walking away from our community, our secure jobs, and a life we loved. We were walking in pure obedience although we didn’t have the answers to all of our questions.  I can vividly remember walking down the plane’s runway and the list of my “What If’s” were swirling around in my mind.  This list seemed a lot more heavy as we were responsible for three beautiful daughters.   And the Lord simply whispered “Either trust me with every thing or don’t trust me at all”.  Once again I chose that even if all of my what if’s come true then I will choose to trust God.  

As I reflect on the list of my “What If’s” throughout different seasons of life, they were based on my fears and insecurities.  I am currently walking through the fire as many of my “What If’s” have become a reality.

Yet the Lord has slowly began to make a new list of “What If’s” in my life.  What if my tragedy causes people to undeniably see God’s glory?  What if people change their perspectives from the temporary things of earth to eternal things?  What if people choose to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior?  What if God ignites a fire in their lives?  What if my daughters know the power and the intimacy of a Holy God at such a young age?   What if our tragedy brings people to restoration?   Brings them to repentance?  Brings them to obedience?  Brings them to spiritual renewal?     

If you were sitting across the table from me then I would look you in the eyes and tell you with 100% confidence that even if…….you can trust God.   

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from your Majesty’s hand.  But EVEN if he does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods….” Daniel 3:17-18